When someone asks you what is you biggest fear what you would say...
My normal response would typically be the unknown. Not knowing what is going to happen, not knowing why certain situations happen, not knowing as simple at that. I let this fear eat me up inside.
Over the past couple of days though I have come to realize probably my second biggest fear. I know this is probably going to sound ridiculous but I am actually afraid of what others think of me. I guess it is more of the fear of being judged or that I don't know what I am talking about and others think. This is probably the dumbest thing to be afraid of or feared but I am pretty sure that I am just lacking the confidence needed to get over this and this job fair this weekend has opened my eyes to this.
Thursday
Finally getting into Kansas City late Wednesday night after what felt like a 10 hour flight with a plane switch in Houston and flying on what felt like the smallest plane ever. I woke up at 9am in the room I grew up in to the memory of the night before when I said to my dad "my TV is gone!" his reply was "yup I sold it and your furniture is going next." I guess this is part of growing up and realizing that what used to be will not always be there.
Thursday was the day that I was to drive to Waterloo, IA (5hours45min) all by myself and to get there before it got too late I was supposed to leave around noonish. Of course by the time I got out of bed, took a shower, packed the car, and arrived at my dads office it was already 11am. This I would have to say was the highlight of my trip! Seeing the love of my life and getting to talk things out with my sister-in-law and the office staff. We ended up going out to lunch at Koops favorite place to get steamed dumplings LuLu's where he was so excited to be able to use the chop sticks that they had put together for kids to use :)
After lunch it was time to hit the road or at least I thought it was. First, I HAD to burn some jams for the ride or else I would have gone crazy because there is more than likely no radio in the middle of nowhere that I had to drive through. Then, my dad decided he wanted to wash the car before I left and check the oil which was a good thing because it was a little low. After all of that getting done I was off on the road to Waterloo, IA at 3:30pm. I finally arrived at my nice Hampton hotel at 8ish where the first thing I did was hit the gym for a good run then went back to my room and headed to bed.
Friday
The Friday morning started of like any other typical Friday morning in my life, the alarm going off at 5am. This was what I had been waiting for ever since I first signed up for this fair back in August (time flys). I went downstairs where I had my typical breakfast of cheerios, yogurt, and a banana.
Once reaching the convention center I immediately fell out of my confort zone. Everyone here had their game faces on and it was SCARY. I felt like I looked the part but that is when my lack of confidence came to bite me in the butt.

After the opening ceremony I had about an hour and a half to figure out what tables I would like to go to and ask for interviews. ASK FOR AN INTERVIEW!?! Ah this was the most nerv racking point and even after figuring out what schools in what countries I kept going over and over in my head WHAT DO I SAY TO THEM?!? The first one was a piece of cake, I walked up with the one yellow interview slip that was in my mailbox to a school in Torreon, Mexico. I gave them my yellow slip, resume, transcripts, and this is when they asked when I would be free to schedule and it was that simple.
The next table I walked up to was a school in Tiawan which had previously e-mailed me saying they would like to talk to me at the fair. This was not as simple as the first. I walked up to the table shook hands with the lady, introduced myself, and handed over the resume/transcripts. At this point the lady just kind of stared at me then what seemed a little hesitant said "would you be interested in a interview". That is what knocked me down a few notches and I took a little step back.
I ended up pulling myself together and went to a few more tables after talking to the nicest couple where the lady gave me pointers. "You have 30 seconds to sell yourself, you are a 4th grade teacher who enjoys traveling, and you're beautiful so you have that going for you" this was just the boost I needed. I ended up landing another interview for a school in Indonesia. Then I got shot down again when I choked on what to say to this man at a school in Kosovo who asked why I was there and I came up with the response "cause I am looking for a job" and he started to laugh. I gave him my resume and he then said he would get back to me. Later that day I found an interview slip in my mailbox for that school that said to meet them at the round robbin on Saturday to set up a time.
2:30pm Interview with Indonesia
I was SO nervous walking into this interview, I absolutely dislike having to talk to others I do not know (fear #2).
I sat down at the table and the head master of the school was a very nice older canadian man. The only question he asked me was "Why should I choose you to teach at my school". This is when I went into my background and starting talking about all the things I have done that related to his school (thank god I researched it). Then he went into talking about the area and what his school was like, and then he asked me "Do you have a boyfriend or are you single?" HAHA I know you all are thinking ARE YOU SERIOUS! but this is an international job fair and all questions are on the table to see if you will be a good fit for the school. I told him that I do not have a boyfriend and that I am single. This is where he said that I probably would not be a good fit since the dating scene in Indonesia was not that great and I would probably not be that happy there.
5:00pm Interview with Torreon, Mexico
Again I had no idea what to expect when walking into this. There is no way I could manage to get away with another interview where they only ask me two simple questions. No this lady came at me with every question in the book I feel. I had to answer questions ranging from "Do you have siblings" to "Describe to me a typical day in your classroom". It wasn't too horrible my only problem was I feel as though she was not very interested with what I was saying. The interview ended with her telling me to come to their orientation on Saturday. Even though I am 80% ure I do not want to teach in Mexico I feel as though I am gonna go to the orientation anyways to get a better feel for the school.
That was the end of the day. I went back to the hotel where I immediately changed into sweat pants ordered a pizza and opened up a beer. I know how cliche haha but it was a very relaxing night where I ended up passing out at 9:30pm because I was extremely exhausted from the long day.
Saturday


Today started not so typical woke up around 6am which is unusual from my normal Saturday mornings and got ready to head back to the convention center. Round two of Round Robbin started at 8am and this was were I was supposed to set up the interview with Kosovo, I was so nervous to go back to that table that when the doors opened I panicked and couldn't walk in. Instead I started to call my friends back in Arizona (what was I thinking they wouldn't be awake) and not surprisingly no one answered except my one roommate Alyson. She is also a teacher so I got lucky with her answer (even though I knew she was on her way to teach Saturday school). This is where she talked me down and that I had nothing to loose and everything to gain because I would more than likely not want to teach there anyways. After my conversation with her I headed into the room to only find out the men where not at their table. I know I know... all of that worry for nothing. The rest of the day is now dedicated to sitting in on orientations and learning about the different places that I could go to and what they are looking for so when I come back to one of these fairs again in the future I will be more prepared and informed on what really goes on.
If I had to compare this experience to anything else I have been through it would have to be sorority recruitment. I know if my sorority advisor is out there reading this she is more than likely shaking her head saying "I told you so" because she always warned me how everything in life can be related to what you went through within greek life. Seriously though, I feel like I have been through Day 1- chit chat Day 2- show them a powerpoint.... blah blah blah.
Signing off for the rest of the weekend heading back to Kansas City tomorrow morning then back the Tempe tomorrow night.